Why does every self-help guru say to meditate, but you can’t figure out what’s the big deal?
Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash
You’ve tried Meditation, but you just can’t get into it
Everyone, who ever talks about self-care or reducing stress, tells you to try meditation. But you just can’t get into it. Every time you sit down to try it, you fall asleep or get bored. Nothing seems to happen and you give up.
Meditation has been practiced for thousands of years, mainly in eastern countries. However, there are some references to meditation in the Jewish Torah. It is believed that interest in meditation moved to western countries in the 1700’s, according to Psychology Today.
I believe that prayer can be a form of meditation as well. When I learned about the Catholic practice of praying the Rosary, where you recite specific prayers as you touch each bead, I thought about how calming that would be. The meditative touching of each bead in order while you recite memorized prayers sounds peaceful. I won’t pretend to know much about the Catholic religion, so forgive me if I get a few details wrong. I once heard someone say that prayer is asking God for assistance, and meditation is listening for the answer. I love that idea.
Meditation helped me through some difficult times
A few years ago, when I first found guided meditation, I was having to make some difficult decisions and I was being pulled between family members. Some wanted me to make one decision and some wanted me to go in another direction. The stakes were high, especially for a people-pleaser like me, who wanted everyone to be happy. I finally sat in meditation and figured out what I wanted. What was the best outcome for me? That was how I was able to make a decision and feel confident about it. Other’s would be unhappy, but I did what made me feel good about my choice (something I could live with without resentment), while minimizing the effect on others when possible. When the fallout happened, I turned to meditation to feel calm and more peaceful.
These are some reasons meditation didn’t work for me in the beginning, and why it probably isn’t working for you:
- You’re too rigid – You think you have to be sitting crisscross on a cushion with your hands on your knees. You believe, (or maybe you’ve been told), that you have to sit in complete silence and have no thoughts in your head. It’s true that some people meditate this way, but it’s not the only way, especially in the beginning, when you are just learning how meditation works.
- You’ve only tried one way – You only tried meditation where you sit in complete silence, and it was too difficult for you to sit still. Your mind is jumping all over the place, and you can’t clear your thoughts. That’s kind of how I began. I started with the Headspace app. I loved it in the beginning, when the person leading, talks you through the steps. But, then he began adding in more and more silence. I would begin falling asleep, and then startle when he started talking again. It wasn’t until I found Emily Aarons, on a podcast, that I figured out that I like guided meditations, where someone walks you through a whole imaginative scenario. After listening to several of her meditations, I began to really enjoy practicing daily. I also enjoy Abraham Hicks, Bob Proctor, and Wayne Dyer. The Insight Timer app has thousands of free meditations where you can explore many different types. I’ve since learned that when I drive in my car with no radio, or other distractions, that is a form of meditation too. You can do walking meditation, or meditation while you practice yoga or Tai chi. Now that I’ve practiced meditation for a while, I can sit in complete silence and meditate on my own. (It helps me get back to sleep when I wake during the night.)
- You haven’t seen the value yet – You haven’t noticed any difference when you meditate. It seems like you are just sitting there doing nothing, or listening to someone’s voice. You’re bored and antsy. Many people feel like they just aren’t doing it right, because they start thinking about their to-do list, or the time their spouse got snippy with them. Afterwards, you don’t feel any different. “What’s the big deal?”, you think. This is where guided meditation helped me. I would listen to the guide’s words, relaxing into my breath. My thoughts would begin to stray, but I allowed the voice of the guide to pull me back. One day, a solution to a big problem popped into my head. I knew what I needed to do, and I felt such a weight lifted off my shoulders. After practicing a while, I can get to that place of easy solutions much quicker.
- You gave up too quickly – If you only tried meditation a handful of times and got bored, you gave up too quickly. You probably never got to that point where you could hear your intuition (your inner knowing). Try a 30-day challenge, listen to a guide you love, or choose some free meditations online.
- You aren’t putting yourself first – You may have tried meditation a few times, but you can never seem to find the time to fit it in. Days are packed and full of things you are doing for everyone but yourself, (your boss, your kids, your spouse, friends, church, the school, etc.). Try meditating before you get out of bed, or before you go to sleep at night. You can start with just 5-10 minutes.
The benefits of meditation
I’m sure you have heard that meditation reduces stress, but here are a few more benefits of meditation, in case you are still on the fence about giving it another go.
- It helps you have better problem solving skills
- You will be more open to alternative solutions
- Study participants had better pain management
- You may have lessened symptoms of IBS, fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, and other chronic health symptoms
- It calms the amygdala, reducing the inflammatory effect of stress
I am so grateful to have found a few versions of meditation that work for me. I now suggest meditation to my clients, and everyone else I know, for that matter. It’s one of the best ways I know to calm the mind and tune into your intuition.
Is meditation hard for you? Let me know in the comments. I would love to hear how you overcame your blocks to meditation as well.
